<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Let Those Puppies Breathe! by chinchillasinunison</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28950195">Let Those Puppies Breathe!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chinchillasinunison/pseuds/chinchillasinunison'>chinchillasinunison</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Hagakure-Ishimaru Sitcom Universe [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Breasts, Crack, Dogs, Gen, Inappropriate Humor, Silly, but not really</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:09:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,623</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28950195</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chinchillasinunison/pseuds/chinchillasinunison</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the rest of Class 78 points out something weird about Mondo to his boyfriend Kiyotaka-- that being, his already generous chest looks to have grown even larger overnight-- and the resulting fallout.</p><p>...That sounds like the description of a really weird smutfic, but this 100% is just goofy shenanigans, I assure you.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Hagakure-Ishimaru Sitcom Universe [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105859</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Let Those Puppies Breathe!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>You might ask, why is this in the Hagakure-Ishimaru Sitcom Universe series? Well, because it takes place in that universe, obviously. Not everything has to revolve around the family dynamic, so long as it's sufficiently sitcom-y, and this is <em>very</em> sitcom-y.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A good deal of Class 78 sat clustered in the cafeteria, not-so-subtly spying on Ultimate Biker Gang Leader Mondo Owada, who was eating alone today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Would you all just leave him be? It's very rude to stare!" asserted Kiyotaka, who was walking over to the table with his tray of food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What r-right do you have to s-say that? You're, like, obsessed with h-him!" commented Toko.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Byakuya rolled his eyes. "That's rich, coming from you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My bro requested I give him some space today, so I obliged! Is there anything wrong with setting boundaries in your relationship?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"None at all," said Sakura with a wise nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The majority of them agreed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So… what's all this about, then?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone fell into an awkward silence. Taka glanced back at Mondo to see if he missed anything. Nothing stood out to him as strange. He turned back to the others, completely lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leon, who had been covering his mouth and bouncing his leg anxiously this entire time, tore the hand away and burst, "Okay, am I the only one who's gonna say it?! Mondo's tits look bigger!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taka was aghast at the blatant vulgarity. "Leon!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They do! Are you gonna get mad at me for sayin' facts?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aoi let out a breath she was apparently holding. "Oh, thank you, Leon! I wanted to say something, but I didn't want to sound like a creep!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, you're... welcome?" he replied with uncertainty, worried that responding confirmed he was, in fact, a creep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Et tu, Asahina? I would have thought as a girl of your…" He realized what he was saying and cleared his throat. "...Erm, proportions, you would be against such ogling of a fellow classmate!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, no, you're totally right about that, but it's just… really weird. You usually don't go up two cup sizes overnight. Especially if you're a guy!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Junko, who had a penchant for spreading rumors if they were especially defaming, contributed, "You didn't hear it from me, but he's </span>
  <em>
    <span>totally</span>
  </em>
  <span> wearing a bra under his top, I saw it in class! Damn, what a perv!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taka winced. "Enoshima, do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> tell lies!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She is not lying," Celestia coolly corroborated, "I saw it, too. One of the straps was peeking out from under his tank top. It is white with lace."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I refuse to believe it! Mondo would </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> wear lace of his own volition! Where would he even acquire a bra?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where indeed, especially for someone of his... size," mused Byakuya.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"His chest size is 86 centimeters," Kyoko recalled the information from the E-Handbook (which was honestly so baffling to Taka he couldn't put into words, how was everyone's chest size relevant to their education?), "To accommodate for his… apparent growth, he would need to borrow one from a girl of a much larger size. And the only one in the class that could be is--"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stop, stop, stop!" ordered Kiyotaka. He didn't notice how Sakura's tense jaw slackened slightly when he cut Kyoko off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's right," Chihiro spoke up, "it's a really private thing you guys are speculating about…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And yet you're here," Byakuya observed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm only here so I don't have to eat alone. It's you guys that are acting weird about Mondo's new boobs. He'll probably tell us about it when he's ready."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There won't be anything to tell because Mondo's b-- </span>
  <em>
    <span>chest</span>
  </em>
  <span> hasn't changed!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey dude, quick question, have you actually looked at it? Like, at all?" asked Yasuhiro.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No! I keep my eyes strictly upon the face! To let them wander elsewhere, especially towards </span>
  <em>
    <span>that region</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it's-- it's-- unwholesome! Especially in a school environment!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Taka, I know it sounds gross, but could you take just a quick peek to see what we mean?" Makoto gingerly proposed, "I mean, you're already dating, so I don't think he'll care that much."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kiyotaka crossed his arms and spat, "Fine. But only to prove you lot wrong."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned and had a look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mondo's chest was indeed larger. Prominently larger. In fact, he appeared to have </span>
  <em>
    <span>breasts</span>
  </em>
  <span> in the truest sense of the word, pushing against the fabric of his top.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I-- I see it now. That… that may be a cause for concern."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes!" said basically everyone else in unison.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I will… ask him about it. I hope he isn't experiencing some kind of… health issue."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like what? That he got stung by bees or something?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sayaka looked at Yasuhiro like he was a complete fool, which he was. "Hiro… bees that only target boobs? Is that what you think this is?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, hey! Don't put words in my mouth!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you were the one who brought up bees…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was just using it as an example! I'm not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> dumb!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lunch went by, Kiyotaka unsure how he would confront Mondo. That is, until next class, when he went to the bathroom. After giving him a head start, he asked the teacher if he could be excused as well, which of course he was allowed. He tailed his partner, and discovered to his horror that he was not going to the bathroom at all, he was in fact sneaking out to one of the school courtyards. Any lingering doubt was evaporated by his burning vigor for his sacred duty as a hall monitor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mondo Owada, stop right there!" he shouted once he caught up with him outside. He was standing over a hedge, his coat pulled off one of his shoulders. The biker tensed up at his voice and turned, tugging the coat back on quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"MOTHERFUCKER!" He swore in surprise, "You scared the shit outta me, bro!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you cutting class?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll be back in a couple minutes, I swear! Just, like, turn around!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh-ho-ho! I will do no such thing!" Taka declared, crossing his arms in defiance. "Just because we're dating does not mean I'll go easy on you!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mondo gritted his teeth. "Didn't I tell ya to give me some space?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I have to cross the line when you're disrupting our learning environment."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tilted his head in confusion. "Whaddya mean by that? Even if I was skippin', that don't affect nobody but me…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah, that's… not precisely what I'm referring to…" Kiyotaka's gaze unconsciously dropped to Mondo's chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mondo got the message and buried his face in his hand. "God fuckin' damnit, I thought you weren't gonna notice… you were the </span>
  <em>
    <span>one person</span>
  </em>
  <span> I hoped wouldn't notice..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well… I did. With some help from my friends."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What a monumentally awkward conversation they were having.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Welp, I guess the jig is up," Mondo sighed. The biker shimmied out of his coat and reached for his back with one hand, cradling his apparent breasts with the other arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something clicked. Literally, it was the clasp of the bra Mondo was indeed wearing, but metaphorically it was Kiyotaka's brain when he was suddenly aware of what was happening. "BRO, PLEASE! WE'RE IN PUBLIC!" he shrieked, tears streaming down his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mondo stood upright, face stone hard, ready for the scolding of his life. The bra straps slipped down his shoulders and what hid beneath the cups was out on full display.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were not boobs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were, in fact, two fluffy white pomeranian puppies. The pomeranians Mondo had adopted several months ago, to be specific.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kiyotaka was struck dumb for several minutes. Finally, he gathered himself together enough to speak. "WHAT."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, it's uh, a long story. Lemme let the girls do their business and I'll tell ya."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He set the dogs down near the brush and they answered nature's call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"See, I don't know how the hell it happened, but we got bed bugs at our place an' it's gettin' fumigated right now. Daiya drove up at like 4 in the morning or some shit and dumped Buddy and Holly on me, 'cause of course he can't bring 'em to work. So I was stuck here wondering what the hell I was supposed to do, 'cause I know damn well pets aren't allowed but I wanna keep my babies close to me. And then I thought, 'shit, that's it' and I got together with Sakura…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, so that belongs to her?" He asked, pointing to the lacy bra.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Duh."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A short lull followed. It was a very "duh" moment, so much so that it needed breathing room. A part of Taka was thankful that was the case, otherwise he would feel he hardly knew Mondo at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But why would Sakura agree to such a-- well, I don't mean to insult you, dear, but it was a stupid plan."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Buddy and Holly are </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> persuasive."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mental image of Sakura and Mondo playing with puppies was too adorable, but he couldn't let himself get distracted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nevermind that! Mondo Owada, I understand that you didn't feel you had many options, but all of this was frankly unnecessary!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taka gave him a good verbal lashing and a detention slip, and ordered him to take the dogs to Gundham for the time being. Taka went ahead to make those arrangements while Mondo grumbled with his head held low.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damnit, this sucked...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah! The antihero with the cursed mark upon his back, flanked by his hellhounds!" bellowed the freaky animal kid once Mondo arrived. "I have anticipated your arrival to this plane!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, yeah. Just promise me you'll take care of my baby girls," he grumbled as he handed them over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled in that sinister way. "Oh, you needn't fret, accursed one. I will tend them well. Any being that clutches beasts to its bosom with such ardor is one that earns my veneration."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay. Cool. I have no idea what the fuck you're saying, ever, but cool."</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this entire fic can be summarized by the "why are your boobs so big?" meme</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>